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Stories From A Girl
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Date:2012-12-12 17:52
Subject:Weight loss and life

Well I have lost of 50 pounds! Since the start of this whole process
Ill post some pics later. I've been real into the before and after shots lol.

I'm going to the gym and (gasp!) running ! And I can breathe. I feel healthier. Yes there days that I struggle with eating. Meaning I'm just not hungry and my 1/4 of a cup meals are too much to eat. And other days I get in all my meals. But generally I get in all my vitamins, all my protein which is what matters to me.

Shopping....yeah that scares the be-Jesus out of me. I have gotten one new pair of jeans since surgery (they are falling off now) all of my skinny jeans are fitting like regular jeans. I have gotten new bras and underwear but even trying bras in gives me anxiety attacks. Like I can finally buy those items in "normal" stores. But i don't know. I still get freaked out I won't be able to get my size. I think in my head I'm still big. Does that make sense?

Also my body shape has changed from an apple on top if tooth picks to hourglass. And I'm not sure how to dress it any more.

I need the what not to wear people come to my rescue.

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Date:2012-11-01 05:59
Subject:WLS AND More update on life

Ok so November 6th will be OFFICALLY 4 weeks post surgery. I had gastric bypass (full Roune Y) on October 9th. Now I'm going to throw some numbers out there.

When I started the process with my surgeon at the end of August I was 228 pounds. Between exercise, and the protein shake diet you have to go on before surgery. The day of surgery I was down to 217. Now I'm below 198!!! I can't remember the last time I was this "skinny". I have gone from a 44DD to a 40 DD. w00t!!! That band size can keep going as long as the cups don't go down too much.

My surgeon is completely amazing and it looks like I might just have one out if 6 scars, the one from the drain. I haven't been cleared for weights or abs work at the gym. But hopefully next week I will be.

I was only in the hospital just over 24 hrs. The gas they used to expand my abdominal area was THE MOST PAINFUL EXPERIENCE OF MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!! It lasted for 2 weeks. I could sleep lying down, had to sit up. It traveled and made a nice little home in my shoulders.

I had a Hiatal hernia (which I had suspected) but my surgeon fixed cause he rocks. That combined with the residual gas it felt like my diaphragm was trying to tip out my collarbone EVERY time I attempted to take deep breathes so I had to do breathing exercises (which is normal)

I was doing great, getting in all my fluids all my protein requirements etc. but the past week and a full (even with my spread sheet I made beforehand) it has been a struggle to get in the minimum amounts a day. My doctor is not happy. And pushed back my return to work date from October 30th to Novemver 12th. If I improve I will be released earlier.

With that snag I hit a HUGE one on Friday. I went to visit my nieces. Who unbeknownst to us ( my sister and I) were sick! I found this out on...Monday. When I suddenly and sharply felt like I was going to die. From congestion body aches. Fever etc. I have the plague crud. MAJOR SETBACK. Since I still can't swallow pills. I can't sleep lying down AGAIN ( for those counting I only got to sleep like a normal person for a week before this). But this makes it even harder to get everything in because I'm sleeping ALOT. Russell has to wake me up to eat and drink etc. what only lasted two days in my nieces is going to last a week or more with me :(. I guess that's just something I have to get used to.

But I wouldn't change this experience for anything in the world. I know my dad would have been proud to know that I followed through and was able to do this. Knowing that I will be healthy and won't ended up like him or my grandmother.

A week after surgery I did something that I had been thinking about for a long time. Now mind you I have a tattoo, I had my tongue pierced for a LONG time. But. My ears weren't pierced. I had them pierced when I was 6 but only kept them in for a out a year. Well I week after surgery I went to Claire's and got my ears pierced and I love it!!!! Everyone is surprised to hear that I'm 30 years old and just got my ears pierced lol.

So I have to say. I was Extremly worried about turning 30 back in March. Thoughts of morality and what not because of dad passing away the May before...these past 7 months have been the best of my 30 years. I am looking forward to every new adventure life throws at me now :D

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Date:2012-07-19 13:15
Subject:Host hotels

Sorry if this has been covered. But I'm planning for 2013, what are your favorite of the host hotels and why what the benefits of each hotel?

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Date:2012-03-10 06:21

See I have been overtime all this week too ( I was told that I wasn't going be blah blah blah).

Well it's Saturday and you guessed, I'm going into work, but only from 8-4, well... Yesterday I was told guess what next week MANADTORY OVERTIME. .. W. T. F.

Now I know with the economy like it is I should be complaining about my job, I'm not I love my job and co workers, and I love these pay checks lately (hello savings). But I'm seeing my coworkers more than I see my dogs (I would say hubby but we all know We don't see each other alot other than sleeping next to each other oh well)

OT was done this week because I'm on spring break, but my classes start back on Tuesday and that means I won't be able to stay past 5, ( but I'll now be coming in at 730 so in total ill have an hr OT on tues.& thurs and more on Monday and wednesday because...)

ON FRIDAY IM GOING YO DISNEY WORLD FOR MY 30th birthday with my best friends in the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have three papers due this week plus a food journal and personal journal. I have to get everything ready for the road trip and work overtime.

This is where I am kinda upset. I live by schedules, meaning I make them WELL in advance and I follow them to a T. My mind has a hard time being able function with out a schedule, I get way too skadder brained when something knocks off my schedule (I don't know what u would call it OCD, ADD? I don't know.

But not telling me about OT until Friday, that is supposed to start on Monday is not cool in the slightest. I had everything planned out (I plan 2weeks in advance) and now having that 1+ hours gone everyday, I feel I'm in a tail spin to get everything for my week reorganized in 48hrs, which means tomorrow (Sunday) my rest day won't be restful because I'll be planning....


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Date:2012-03-01 06:55
Subject:work school work schork work work

yes i meant to do that in the title.

so inspired from j-9's post, here is the life for Cami as of late.

Well i'm working A LOT, Febuary was MANDATORY OVERTIME month. the only Saturday I have had off, was the one I went to Wilmington, I even had to make my monthly trip to see my Papa on a sunday (i hate doing anything on a sunday its my day to reflect) but ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

But with working comes a ok paycheck, and I"m going to DISNEY WORLD ON MARCH 16TH MY 30TH BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yea so twice in one year my head is going to explode, it's a girls weekend/road trip to my bestie's house in kississimmeeeeeeeeee. Two of my girlfriends from work and my sister in law! oh and CAKE POPS!!!! i have ordered mickey colored cake pops from a girl at work (so i dont have to make them, score! for the trip)

Well the real IMPORTANT SUPER IMPORTANT THING in my life is my school work. I hate to really gloss over it, but my Master Pieces of Cinema class, i'm going great in (come on with my history how could i do bad in this class)

But my other "important to me class" is The History of Rock and Roll...I'll start by saying PLEASE ignore all the grammar mistakes I make in this journal, on facebook, etc. I am a really excellent typist, I mean that is what I do for atleast 10 hrs and my audits are great.

But my professor for Rock and Roll, get this, used to WRITE and EDIT ROLLING F'IN STONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I take his opinon very seriously. I recieved an A on my first paper for him about which song is the first Rock and Roll song. with comments like 'I really enjoyed reading your paper"... :)..and I just received my artist biography back and I got a B, because of ...grammar...like not underlining song titles, itlaic album titles, and capitolizing "The" in the Ramones....and..."the inapropriate (for  a college paper) sarcasam in your opening paragraph" ...

long story on that, but yeah it was sarcastic, I SHOULD NOT HAVE PICKED   the Ramones, but oh well. OTHER than the first paragraph, the entire paper (literally) is bracketed with "THIS WHOLE PAGE IS WONDERFUL" "TERRIFIC WRITING" ..I am not joking, words like this ****jumps for joy***

he also said that I need to remember it's not an editorial but a college paper....I'm going to talk to him about this, mostly cause i'm curious if it makes a good editorial.... ;)

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Date:2012-02-23 21:32
Subject:well well

So after that wonderful semi happy post this morning, everything went down hill until about 8:15 tonight.

here's how it went...

I went to work, got there at 7:25 (great time!) started working, then at 745 I got an alert on my computer reminding me of my 8am MRI (which i was supposed to be at the doctor's office at 730, not work) but my team lead(who sits in front of me and faces me) totally missed it too (she didnt think it was odd i was at work on time, working lol) I try to get in touch wit hthe dr, and just get the answering service until 815, in the mean time I got pulled off my favorite project, and put on the project i hate the MOST at work (mostly because i OH! CALL DR'S OFFICES ALL DAY FINDING OUT WHY THEY DONT FILL OUT THEIR PAPER WORK CORRECTLY!!!! oh the irony)

and then it might TMI, but my fun ;$ drive thru breakfast came back to hunt me in a bad way.

the one good thing about working the satan project is that I could study for my mid terms that were tonight in between spreadsheets and phone calls...but ...oh...wait I FORGOT ALL MY NOTES!!!! and since I work in Greensboro and go to college in Greensboro, but live closer to Burlington Im screwed.

So at lunch I look at when study guides I can access through my phone (thank you iPhone)(thank goodness for my reading glasses) and thank goodness for Russell, who brought me my notebook :)

The rest of the day was spent filled with frustartion, and hatred towards my job, and paranoia for my two midterms.

well long story short, I think I did ok on my History of Rock and Roll midterm,

and in Masterpieces of Cinema, I got a B on my Psycho vs Modern Times, I can live with that because I know I made a great argument for why Psycho has great unity, but I made a poor agrument for why Modern Times is not.

Then by 815 I was done with my two midterms, only one left, is Stress Management on Tuesday.

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Date:2012-02-23 06:03

Thank the lord all that is holy today is THURSDAY!!!!! I am not excited that two out three midterms are today nor am I excited that I am working an 8hr day on Saturday.

BUT once today is over, I'll only have one midterm next week yay! And once Saturday is over, so is mandatory over time yay! Back to my regular schedule, and my volunteer Saturday overtime of 4hrs ONLY if I want to.

Then Sunday Russell and I get to go to the country and we my Papa :) and my dad's cousins Greg and Wendy. And who ever else stops by the house. I'm secretly hoping for some good barbecue while I'm there....

So yeah why am I excited about today being Thursday? It's just the start the small rocking before the ball gets rolling :)

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Date:2012-02-16 08:05
Subject:Work it work it

So yeah I have been working out, but I haven't been able to get to the gum at school regular enough to use the treadmill and do the couch to 5k properly :(. But I have doing my wii fit every night that I'm supposed, which includes A LOT of running in place.

Also for my stress mgnt class at school, I'm keeping a food journal, it's really hard not to eat mcd salads when I don't have time to make lunch or dinner because I'm not home :/ but I'm working on that too.

Saw my dr. On Monday, she was pleased with my progress (only lost 2pounds but hey) my breathing is better, my clothes are looser, I suspect I'm gaining some more muscle :) I'm actually taking the stairs UP at work, four flights, it's still kicking my ass but not AS bad.

She also gave me the ok that I do more strenuous work outs with my heart condition. I told her telling me that I felt was a little vague.

She explained that my left atrium and ventrical deficiency is that (if any at all) will effect me if I a) DO NOT LOOSE wIEGHT b) WHEN I GET ELDERLY it will more than likely effect me.

So yeah I'm trying to not let that happen. I wish I could find a more active job.

I go see the neruologist today for the first time. He is going to check my memory. And some other stuff dealing with these strange "headaches" that don't hurt but cause me to go blind. ..this is what I'm scared of I don't want to be told
a) I have a tumor
B) I have MS like my mom

So wish me luck

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Date:2012-02-09 22:34
Subject:Film class...

Sooooooo tonight in film class I had to defend the "There is only one trilogy and it ain't Lord Of The Rings" argument.

At the beginning of the semester we had to post our top ten favorite films (apparently in order but I didn't realize that)

Back to the Future
The Empire Strikes Back (original, no special edition)
Gone With The Wind
Batman (burton)

And quite frankly I do t remember the others I put down. We all I own more movies than pairs of socks bras and underwear combined.(oh one was Last Crusade)

Well what surprised me was that he took our lists and those of Tuesday nights class and put them in order. from 1 to 20

First Pulp Fiction ended up begins number 1 ..smh.. Star Wars was number 16!!!!!! WTH...and all three Lord of the Rings made the top 12. W. T. F. ....

Apparently Pulp Fiction was been number since this guy has been teaching his class 2002. Well..I don't know how to explain that. Or lord of the rings other than I'm one of the oldest people in the class, and I might be giving my teacher a run for his money.

I'm not saying that all selection were crap movies, but Cinematic masterpieces??? Far from it. I mean #20 was a three way tie with Dirty Dancing, Pretty Woman, and Schlinder's List...REALLY people. ???


I feel like a movie snobb. But then again I based my list totally on ones that I watch on a routine basis.

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Date:2012-02-05 20:05
Subject:The weekend

Spent the weekend making Disney related pendents and such (FTW) ..and...peanut butter cookies (WTF) they are REALLY bad for you but super tasty, I only ate a few and am taking the rest to work tomorrow.

I work out tomorrow, and I have two finish two papers, one on The Ramones and one on which film (out of the zillion I have seen) is has the most "unity and flow". The two are very challenging, but I LOVE this college because of it.

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Date:2012-01-28 07:59

So I'm in college. Guilford college majoring in history. I made The DEAN'S list last semester and this semester I'm taking Masterpieces of cinema, stress management, and History of Rock and Roll.

My rock n roll teacher writes for rolling stone, and the rock and roll hall of fame.

I got an A- on my first paper, with comments like "I enjoyed this paper".

I feel special :)

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Date:2012-01-26 17:21

So at college, and I'm fully convinced that these hipster kids aren't getting finincal aid, because if they where they would able to afford a freakin mirror.

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Date:2012-01-26 10:57

So I am going to start running. Well attempting to run. I have found out I can indeed walk a 16 minute mile :).

I know I have said this before. And I know I have been pretty silent on here since my dad died. But I'm gonna do it.

I am not going to end up like him, and I'm not going to wait until I'm too old to enjoy my life like I want to.

I have been gong to the gym at school al be it once a week but it's awesome. And I will continue, and start going more. I'm going again tomorrow, it will be Friday night and I have nothing to do, Russell is working nights. So why not spend it exercising :)

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Date:2012-01-26 10:44

Test test

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Date:2011-06-28 21:04

just keep getting harder and harder...

I deboned a pork shoulder and have it in a AWESOME smelling home made marinade and the first thing i wanted to do was call Dad and tell him about it, since i'm cooking it this weekend.....and I can't.

and I broke down. and have been crying off and on since about 6pm.

My doctor offered to put me on a leave of absense...I had to cancel my grief session last week because I was having horrible pains in my side and had to make an emergency dr appointment, along with an emergency ultrasound. That leave is looking pretty good right now. I will feel like a failure if I take it. I'm supposed to be training for an "add on" to my new postition in the middle of July. but it's something i have wanted to do since i got hired last year. I dont know what to do.

I find myself crying at my cube, going to the bathroom and silently screaming in a stall.

This is just the most painful thing ever, I can't call my dad, I can't call my grandmother. I can't stop crying I can't concentrate.

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Date:2011-06-12 11:04

the past couple of days have been bad, but last night was the worst yet. I cried and cried and cried and cried and cried....I think what little sleep I did get I was crying too. ...

just thoughts of my dad...nothing eloquent, just thoughts. ..I thought about the speech I gave at the memorial. I thought about times when i was younger. I thought recent times, and I thought about the accent he had.

I thought about how he died, I thought about when he went through. ...not that typing all this shit out helps any.

Yesterday I looked through pictures of him and my grandmother....just a day of sadness...and today I'm drained. Really fucking drained.

I see a grief counselor on Thursday. first of six sessions. I dont know how i'm going to make it through work until then....Everyday at work I have on this mask, this smile...people i dont even know (since i'm in a new department and had only been there a day before dad died) come by and say "oh how was your vaction?" or "are you feeling better, you were gone for a couple of days"...I feel like says "really I had no clue I had been gone, thanks for keeps tabs on me"

or "I did not go on vacation, my dad died, thanks."....but instead I politely say "oh thank you, my father passed away on the 28th, but thank you", smile slightly and tilt my head, like i have on a freaking top hat or something. When all I want to do is YELL and CRY and SOB at the top of my lungs...

but I just smile. and feel like I have the largest boulder on my shoulders, then when I get home I drop that bitch...and am exhausted. emotional drained, but i cant let anything out, because i dont want to upset Russell, he has a stressful job as it is with out having to worry about me...so it just stays bottled. and I just get more depressed...

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Date:2011-06-05 14:02
Subject:my dad...

Just got done listening to a 29 minute recording of my dad, that I found in his house...

It was bittersweet. It was before he was really sick. It was before all his strokes. It was a crisp clear Green Swamp southern accent. ...


but glad that i can listen to these stories any time I want.

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Date:2011-05-30 19:53

dad's memorial service is tomorrow...i'm not ready.

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Date:2011-05-29 18:50
Subject:My daddy

My father passed away yesterday. Can't really write anything proper right mow.

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Date:2011-05-26 21:44

crazy two weeks. tuesday after i got off work, mom called Russell, telling him that they did not except dad to last through the night. so off we go to wilmington. he was having a GI bleed and they couldn't really do anything about it because he was refusing an indoscopy.

we got there about 9, and stayed at the hospital until after 1am. they started an NG tube to suction out the blood....well he lasted through the night.

in fact by this morning the bleeding had stopped, he made a 180. and hopefully if he keeps progressing like yesterday and today in about 2 weeks he will be transferred to Kindred Care in Greensboro(yay! he will be here!)

oh. he has been in the hospital since mother's day, with sepsis (blood infection) from bed sores.

yeah rougher times are hopefully behind us and not so rough times ahead.

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Date:2011-04-30 23:25
Subject:hello again

Long time no post, I know I suck.

Some times the hardest thing to do is live with yourself, knowing the person the you were. Because wither that person was AMAZING, or the most horrible person. More than likely it's the ladder. You struggle every day knowing that you can't change the past. Having HUGE "what if" issues. You wake up one day in a haze, a smoke filled haze. only to realize that you have spent so much time worrying about something that you can't change, that life has gone on and you brain has now grinned to a halt and the smokey haze if coming from your ears... Once it clears, you started to see and understand "ok, I can't change it, keep calm and carry on and MOVE on" And you start to discover the person that you have become in the mean time, who you will become.

that's where i am right now. ...i think that is where i have been for a long time.

I have kinda gotten back into "art" I have done a few Disney character paint/color pencil pieces, and sewn a few sets of stays for the ladies in the militia. and I'm working like a mad person at my day job. ...yup.

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Date:2011-01-19 15:33

Yeah so my mom's dad is VERY sick in the hospital at the coast I'm in g- boro. I don't know if I should go. My mom hasn't yet so I'm judging it by her.

I have been excerising my butt off. I will run the half marathon at Disney (and reward my finishing with w week vaca there.

And I'm trying to get together a Brunswick for fancy awesome reenacting.

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Date:2011-01-15 19:12

Sock in bed with coca cola and cable tv. Ph and night quil hopefully I'll feel better in the morning. It's asickness I've been trying to not get the better of me for a whilenow bytit seems rove winning now.

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Date:2011-01-13 20:48

To quote me " Growing up is like a cheap particle joke. You think IRS gonna be fin then to someone else's sick satisfaction, you find out it sucks."

Yeah its been a "deep thoughts jack handy" type day.

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Date:2011-01-10 20:54

So I went to work and work a full 8 hr day before the snow really started. I made Russell and I Bridies from scratch they were yummy. I have also made the executive decision that I will not being going to work tomorrow, after hearing a car slide on the main road in front of my house, my two other co workers that live in the neighborhood gave joined in the executive decision. Which means we will have our own morning meeting, out on the big hill with our sledding devices I.e. A large rubbermaid container lid for me. :)

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my journal